Trick or Treat

What a difference a year makes.

Exactly one year ago, my sister and brother-in-law came to Florida to stay for 10 days so they could take AJ and JJ to school and to trick or treat on Halloween, while Josh and I made our first trip to India. We were very quiet about our plans, and not many people knew we were even going to be away. We were so secretive because we felt there was a lot of uncertainty pursuing international surrogacy, and we didn’t want it to be public knowledge if we were about to be swindled.

Investigating our options in 2012, my medical background and our prior experience as parents through surrogacy had already served us well in weeding out some questionable situations. We knew in some cases immediately that we were being lied to: “No need to make the trip to India beforehand. We can just ship your stuff to India because frozen is as good as fresh for IVF.”  – LIE; “To ensure success in one cycle, we can transfer to two surrogates. I know you just said you would prefer singleton. The two surrogates have never gotten pregnant at the same time like that, and certainly not with multiples.” – LIE.

But some claims were not as easily disproven, and we had to see the operation for ourselves to make sure things were legit. Once we met Dr. M, we felt comfortable enough to proceed. However, throughout the pregnancy, nagging doubts remained. We had recurring nightmares that we would return to India to find that Dr. M’s Infertility Clinic had been replaced suddenly with Mrs. M’s Nail Salon, and none of the nail techs would know anything about babies… how about a manicure?

One year later everything obviously turned out well, and we were treated with a sweet outcome. But we are also sadly aware of many intended parents pursuing international surrogacy with other agencies who appear to have been tricked into paying for unnecessary medical fees, multiple IVF procedures and possibly even whole pregnancies that may have never really happened. International surrogacy can be a gamble. We feel extremely fortunate for ourselves and sympathy for other IPs who gamble with their wallets and their hearts trying to create families abroad. Trick or treat?

Take your pick - heroes or pirates?

Take your pick – heroes or pirates?

3 thoughts on “Trick or Treat

  1. Awesome pic! Love it. :0) While they’re all adorable, I think I have to give it to Wonder woman. She is working that tiara/headband. ;0)

    Glad all is well and have a great Halloween!

  2. I think you have been lucky because Dr. M is one of a kind. There is so much corruption in India that she can almost be considered as an anomaly. She was not the best at communicating, but she was honest, warm, and she really cares, not only about her customers, but also about the surrogate mothers. It is very easy to become friend with her.

    • I agree the arrangement with Dr. M certainly worked out well because she turned out to be caring and sincere. But language barrier and communication issues sometimes led to unnerving silences and doubt. I will still take Dr. M any day over the horror stories I read online about other agencies.

Comments are closed.