Love Wins, Hate Loses, and Life Goes On…

Notorious RBG is my hero!

Notorious RBG is my hero!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the months leading up to this momentous day in history, I have engaged in an increasingly rancorous dialogue online debating marriage equality. Opponents of marriage equality, some of whom profess to be civil and respectful, escalated their political statements into personal attacks against me and my family calling me “sick,” “criminal” and likening me as a gay parent through surrogacy to a rapist, a human trafficker or a child abuser. This type of defamation enraged me, but Josh and some other wise souls helped me realize that what I was experiencing was the last, bitter, fitful and truly impotent gasps of a hateful movement sliding into the wrong side of history. I needed to disengage, because they couldn’t touch us, and our contented lives would go on regardless.

After the Supreme Court of the United States affirmed marriage equality in all 50 states this morning at 10 a.m., what was next? A co-worker congratulated me. I spoke with Josh on the phone and discussed what to pick up at the grocery store. I came home and put on my Ruth Bader Ginsburg t-shirt in celebration. The boys spent some time in the pool while the babies played with cars and balls on the patio. I will cook Shabbat dinner for our family, and we will be extra thankful for our blessings today. After we put all four kids to bed, Josh and I will probably crack open a bottle of wine and share a toast. Our lives will go on largely unchanged, but maybe someday soon, we will get legally married and add an extra sheen of dignity to our already happy lives.

What’s next for the hateful opponents of marriage equality? Many of them were howling on Twitter about what they saw as an injustice today, but it didn’t appear that many people were listening or responding. I imagine that their lives will go on, too. The fact that their LGBT neighbors will be permitted to marry will have no bearing on their lives whatsoever. It won’t touch them. Many of them will realize that society did not crumble because of marriage equality like they predicted it would. Some of them may live long enough to read in the history books about their shameful movement and feel a twinge of guilt for having been a part of it. Even if they never come to this wisdom, I will try not to be resentful toward them. People who choose to waste so much time and energy fussing about other people’s lives and not their own deserve pity, not hate.

Rest in Peace

A few days ago news first broke that Fred Phelps, founder of Westboro Baptist Church, was on his deathbed. As usual, all sorts of internet commentary was offered. However, I was very disturbed by the number of LGBT people that suggested celebration and picketing of his funeral similar to the way his church members have picketed funerals of soldiers and other events to spread their homophobia. I find this type of schadenfreude similarly repulsive to his church’s activities. It is never classy to celebrate death, even if you resented the departed terribly. I have always wished upon the haters long life, in the hope that with age will come the wisdom of how wrong they were and maybe even an attempt to make amends. I can only hope that the report of Fred Phelps having been ex-communicated from his own church last summer is a sign that he may have had a last minute change of heart.

After Fred Phelps’ death last night, I am hoping that the LGBT community will exercise restraint and not display some of the same hateful grave-dancing that made the Westboro Baptist Church so infamous.

Rest in Peace

Rest in Peace

Social Media Blitz!

Obviously, we are quite busy these days.  There hasn’t been a lot of spare time to compose longer blog posts documenting our adventures.  Thus it seems like the perfect time to explore the world of micro-blogging!  To this end, I have established Twitter, Instagram, and Vine accounts so I can tap out a few words or capture a moment whenever opportunity strikes.  I have embedded our twitter feed on the home page of our blog so visitors can see the latest.

I am new to Twitter but find it very amusing thus far.  Unlike Facebook, Twitter gives you the opportunity to communicate  directly with so many people you don’t even know.  Celebrities are interesting but I also find it very powerful connecting to gay parents across the country and around the world.  We may not know each other in real life, but we certainly share a common bond in our special situation.