In March of 1997, Josh and I started dating. After the first couple dates, I knew there was something very special developing between us. On March 31st, we went out and stayed up all night walking in the streets of NYC and talking about “us.” We have always regarded March 31st as our anniversary. Tonight, it will become our wedding anniversary!
I couldn’t sleep last night. I laid awake in bed after the race was called in the early morning hours with racing thoughts. The little ones are too young to understand, but I struggled with how to explain the election result to AJ and JJ. How could a world change so drastically overnight? I decided to suppress my own fears and strike a reassuring tone with the boys. I told them when they woke that the candidate we had hoped for had lost, but what would never change is our love for them.
We will always do whatever we can to keep them safe, no matter how hostile this country becomes to Jewish, mixed race, same sex parent families like ours.
After I dropped them off at school, I reached out to our lawyer to ask about how we can best legally protect our family in the years ahead. Stay tuned.
Josh says we got through years like this before, and he is right. We are fortunate enough to lead relatively privileged lives and will live to vote another day. Nonetheless we are sorrowful for the suffering of more vulnerable minority members in the years to come.
Our family isn’t going anywhere.
Today is the official launch day of Eric Rosswood’s new book, Journey to Same-Sex Parenthood. I was able to receive an advance copy and wrote a glowing review for it on Amazon. Of course, I am somewhat biased given the fact that I contributed our family story to this collection of personal stories about gay and lesbian parents.
With that said and having now read the entire book, I think Eric Rosswood did a marvelous job. I really do wish a book like this existed when Josh and I were originally considering our options for family building.
It is very well organized into five sections covering different paths to parenthood for same sex couples: Open Adoption, Foster Care, Surrogacy, Assisted Reproduction, and Co-Parenting. Each section includes multiple representative firsthand stories by gay and lesbian people that went through it themselves. Each story takes you on an emotional roller coaster toward parenthood that keeps your attention while at the same time informing you of the highs and lows that may occur along the way. I think that same sex couples hoping to have children will have better understanding of practical issues, but especially the emotional complexities that come with each approach after reading these personal stories. Other books may focus on a single approach, or read more like a clinical manual. This book is warm and intimate.
For the detail oriented, the end of the book comes complete with multiple appendices that comment on legal issues, benefits and challenges, and questions to ask yourself when considering each of the five different paths to parenthood.
I encourage any gay or lesbian couples interested in pursuing parenthood to check this book out today!
Since AJ and JJ were born, we have taken family photos periodically on birthdays and holidays. With the addition of DJ and MJ, these photos have become increasingly challenging to stage because of the number of moving parts.
Last week we had our photo session and I was initially displeased because of how restless MJ was throughout the shoot. Somehow, the photographer managed to capture a couple moments of relative cooperation. Of course the beauty of our children won me over and now I love the photos.
Looking over the last few family portraits I am struck by how much the kids have grown over the last couple years!
First Portrait as Family of 6
The household continues to bustle with activity, and 2015 is flying by.
DJ and MJ are halfway through their terrible twos. They have finally graduated from cribs into toddler beds. They were so excited the first night in their new beds, they couldn’t sleep!
AJ and JJ are doing well in the 3rd grade gifted program at their school. Extracurricular activities now include Hebrew school twice a week as well as as practices and games in a training basketball league.
We just got home from a weekend trip to Orlando. We went to Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party at the Magic Kingdom. The weather was a bit wet, but the kids had fun regardless.
DJ and Nanny Pat under the big top waiting for the Dumbo ride
MJ meets Goofy
DJ developed an obsession with Frozen just in time for our trip
DJ with Princess Anna
The castle lit up for the evening celebration
Stage show in front of the castle
Me and my princess
MJ and I enjoyed the show.
DJ also loves Minnie Mouse
AJ, JJ and Pat’s son enjoy the fireworks
Family photo. We enjoyed free cookies and hot cocoa at the party
We went to Disney Quest the following day before heading back home.