From very early on in our relationship, we have been very committed to each other. On our 1st anniversary, Josh got us a pair of simple gold bands for us to wear. Seeing us with these rings, I think many people assumed over the years that we were already married. We never saw the need to have a wedding ceremony because we were already very committed to each other, and the only additional benefit we sought was legal recognition.
When marriage equality finally came nationwide in 2015, we did not immediately marry because we did not want to rush, and because we wanted the date to have personal significance. With a new administration in place we have felt the need to gain better legal protection for our family. Our 20th anniversary, March 31st, felt like the perfect date for our wedding.
The wedding turned out beautifully and as planned. Josh and I wanted to blend elements from our Jewish and Chinese heritage into the ceremony and reception. We also wanted to have our 4 kids play an active role. More than 180 of our friends and family gathered on that night.
Photos from that night have been trickling back in the weeks since, and I will update this post if more come in.
Save the date cards
Wedding license at clerks office
We added 4 diamonds to each band
Our social media hashtag and table centerpieces.
Sand ceremony, 7 Jewish blessings and we broke the glass
AJ and JJ were so handsome as best men.
MJ dutifully walked up the aisle as ringbearer, and then ran back to us.
DJ was so excited to be flower girl, she tossed all her petals at once!
Two grooms coming down the aisle
We wrote our own vows.
Sealed with a kiss
Family photo taken right after the ceremony
It is customary for the Chinese bride to wear red silk, so we wore red silk scarves.
Lion dancers and drummers opened the reception
David white wine or Josh red.
Double happiness cake topper
Our favorite flavors. Almond cake, Coconut cake
In March of 1997, Josh and I started dating. After the first couple dates, I knew there was something very special developing between us. On March 31st, we went out and stayed up all night walking in the streets of NYC and talking about “us.” We have always regarded March 31st as our anniversary. Tonight, it will become our wedding anniversary!
This has been a very rough year. The shootings at Pulse, the sudden death of my uncle, the slow death of my grandmother, and the political upheaval of the election all took a toll on me emotionally. Josh has been very patient with me, as he has always been. My birthday falls at the end of the year, which is naturally a very reflective time. This year I turned 42 and I have come to the conclusion that my answer to “life, the universe, and everything” will always be my family. As long as I have Josh, JJ, AJ, DJ, and MJ by my side, I will always be content. This birthday, Josh took me down to Fort Lauderdale for a quick romantic getaway and we had a lovely dinner date night!
We have something exciting planned for 2017. Stay tuned.
I couldn’t sleep last night. I laid awake in bed after the race was called in the early morning hours with racing thoughts. The little ones are too young to understand, but I struggled with how to explain the election result to AJ and JJ. How could a world change so drastically overnight? I decided to suppress my own fears and strike a reassuring tone with the boys. I told them when they woke that the candidate we had hoped for had lost, but what would never change is our love for them.
We will always do whatever we can to keep them safe, no matter how hostile this country becomes to Jewish, mixed race, same sex parent families like ours.
After I dropped them off at school, I reached out to our lawyer to ask about how we can best legally protect our family in the years ahead. Stay tuned.
Josh says we got through years like this before, and he is right. We are fortunate enough to lead relatively privileged lives and will live to vote another day. Nonetheless we are sorrowful for the suffering of more vulnerable minority members in the years to come.
Our family isn’t going anywhere.
Last weekend, we drove up to Orlando to meet my parents flying in from New York, as well as my sister, brother in law, and their new baby flying in from New Orleans. This was Josh and the kids’ first chance to meet baby L. MJ had a fever that forced him and Josh to sit out the first day’s events, but everyone had a great time the rest of the weekend in the Disney Parks. We plan to do this again annually!