MJ and DJ are our second set of twins born through surrogacy. A few years ago Josh and I started talking about the idea of having more children. We thought it would be nice to have a girl to break up all the testosterone in the house, and it would also be an opportunity for the non-donor partner from our last surrogacy experience to make a genetic contribution to our family. Because of the economy and our finances at the time, international surrogacy seemed the way to go this time around. We researched our options and decided to look into an agency and a clinic operating in India.
The next step in our plan was to travel to Mumbai, India to see for ourselves. We visited the clinic and were presented with some options for prospective surrogates. We personally met and chose to work with Pavitra because she was experienced having served as a surrogate previously. Regardless of language barrier, we knew that Pavitra understood exactly what kind of process she was getting involved with because she had done it once before. We knew that we would not have the close relationship with Pavitra like we did with our first surrogate, but the financial benefit for Pavitra and her family in India’s economy would be life changing. The beaming smile on Pavitra’s face when she learned we had chosen her told us everything we needed to know.
When we did IVF in India, we asked for the doctor to transfer two embryos instead of the standard three because we were trying to aim for a singleton. As fate would have it, two embryos implanted anyway and we had a second set of twins on our hands! Because of laws against sex selection in India, we did not know the if we had boys, girls or both until their birth. Baby girl DJ was delivered first via c-section and baby boy MJ arrived moments later. MJ and DJ were born during a period of change in the surrogacy industry of India, and this complicated and prolonged the process that ultimately allowed MJ and DJ to come home to the US one month after their birth. After we left, the door seems to have slammed shut for gay couples seeking surrogacy in India. Thailand and Nepal have followed suit in the years since, and we do not recommend international surrogacy at this time.
MJ has a name that is the masculinization of Josh’s grandmother that died a few years before. DJ is named after a pop culture icon. It is a name I have been saving for my daughter since before AJ and JJ were born! DJ is a bit of a fashionista. She insists on choosing her own outfits out of the closet proclaiming them to be “cute!” She is partial to clothes with her favorite characters Minnie Mouse and Hello Kitty. MJ has a voice that carries and honestly was singing before he could talk. He started out with “ABC” and “Twinkle Twinkle” but has begun to branch out into singing along to pop tunes on the car radio.